August 2011
4 posts
It’s getting worse again, but I am not inclined to fix anything
Rather I seem to enjoy
this
Please remember that above all else
You know nothing about me
Feel like shit and don’t want to go to work, but if I don’t go to work, then I don’t go to anything.
Can’t keep running. I’ll be late for work, but I have to go.
1 tag
Realized today that I like the atmosphere at UNSW a lot more than I do at USyd. Made the right choice in the end, then.
Simulacra
I have all these unused archetypal feelings, sitting useless and unused in that state. In fact I’m not quite sure what to do with them, without having a legitimate application to exploit.
I look at them and think, “yes, I know when they were once used,” and then an answer to the call responds, “they may be used again sometime soon.”
And sometimes I experience them,...
July 2011
6 posts
Academia
Artist
Art Administration
Art writing/Journalism
Art criticism
1 tag
The latest Dear Coke Talk made me think.
If a twenty two year old woman is boring and talks about trite and uninteresting things because of her age, and is boring her twenty-eight year old partner as a result, then what hope do I have at eighteen? Do I bore the people around me with trite, uninteresting things, without realising it? Is it so obvious that I am only eighteen years old, and at...
1 tag
The only person I ever loved is no longer the same person. We have grown apart so fast, conversation with him is bland and I find myself having to feign interest where I didn’t have to before. We loved each other deeply, unconditionally. Regardless of whatever I did to him, whatever I said, he was always there in the morning, always there in the afternoon, always there at night. We were...
ただの若い女子のやりたい事
私はまだ若いんだ。ハンサムで素敵な彼氏を見つけてから、その恋人と美術館に行ったり、一緒に外国旅行に行ったり、内証でいっぱいセックスしたり、お互いのパートナーになってほしい。「彼女愛しているぞ」「あの馬鹿が大好き」「やっぱり会いたいな」という言葉を使いたい。
馬鹿な若い人達。気持ちはいい、だからいい。
この一生で、恋は一期一会。そのチャンスを取れないと、満足生活も出来ない。
別に。もういい。他人いるよ。
1 tag
Gallery clientele
There is a painter whom I assume to be either second or third year at COFA that comes into the gallery religiously every time there is a new show. My first impressions of him essentially had me pinning him down as prissy, fussy and overtly pedantic above all else, characteristics I normally despise.
We always have short conversations reliant on little blips of communication, with body language...
1 tag
If you were qualified to pass judgment on my writing, then you must be producing gold yourself.
“Let me just take a shit here and show you how it’s done,” you’ll say, and I’ll attempt to learn from your example.
After all, your opinion surpasses all, doesn’t it? You’ve surely been writing longer than I, you surely have clearer perception than I can even...
June 2011
21 posts
Where I grew up
I grew up in the dingiest part of Bondi: our apartments were forever moulding and falling apart, my blankets always had patched up holes, and I am now certain that there were always drug addicts hidden somewhere in the buildings.
But it was the nineties and it was Bondi, and despite rampant racial tensions between Asians (my mother) and White Australians (my father), and the violence permeating...
1 tag
Not fixed but fluid The act of participating and producing the thoughts thereof and therein I cannot stop
saw in passing
did not meet
Donnie Darko
“Who is she,”
If I had gone
but I was too busy to go
being afraid
of what?
“Is she,”
An exception to the rule or an intrinsic execution of element?
I am not afraid of this, no, it is nothing of which to c
au
se...
1 tag
At the airport in Delhi
Is the first person I ever loved.
As always, and for forever:
Only the best
I wish you.
Absinthe: Libertine, le bleue
Still feeling light headed, but clear all the same.
Dinner/drinks/sleepover at Mandish’s tomorrow.
Might spring on some Sambuca for the occasion.
Ugh, every once in a while I realise how much my head is actually swimming.
Exodus
Going to delete posts or hide them until they are edited.
Only quality, edited posts will make it here.
1 tag
On Arshile Gorky
Always following, never leading.
1 tag
Girl lies, raspy in her exhales, in swathes of creamy cloth. An antiseptic twinge to the nostrils belies nothing but the truth. Vomit, putrid and vile, paints her flesh and singes her delicate translucent lips: the exodus of vile lies.
What is she clasping at? Only at the last tendrils of substance, curled and crumpled in her weakened, deadened fingers.
Is this what it means to become a woman?
...
1 tag
Splenetique
One of my closest friend’s birthday is on Wednesday.
I have friends,
and I have close friends.
She is within that coterie, she sips the reserved absinthe and drowns her sorrows in our collective pool of misery.
She whispers the prose and yells the code and we run as thick as thieves right under unsuspecting noses. Through thick and thin, by waxing and waning, tasting of bitter and sweet,...
2 tags
On relationships
Good relationships form out of strong friendships.
Strong friendships form out of bonds that transcend trivial matters: a friendship that lasts despite differences in opinion and lifestyle choices.
Bonds that transcend trivial matters are reliant on ‘clicking’ with another person: that moment when you realise you will stick with this person for as long as possible regardless of their...
On biting productivity versus mere bark
I complain too much and talk too much and get far too little done.
I become entwined with needless emotion and entertain trivial anger far too often.
Rereading any of the posts I make makes me realise how juvenile I was mere days, hours, seconds ago. There is progress, but I want to stuff socks into the mouth of my former self and choke her to death.
I am constantly progressing, editing and...
3 tags
On music genres
Someone asked me earlier what music genres I favoured, and in retrospection I gave a very juvenile answer. In general I pay little attention to genres, aside from the categorical purpose they serve.
I have recognize that I probably should care a little more. Hence why I have rewritten the list again:
Lo-fi, minimalist (argh I’m sure those aren’t the right terms for it)
Shoe gaze
...
Re-reading this re-consumption makes me want to stick a screwdriver in choice orifice
Look at all the things I know
Are you impressed with all the things I know
Fuck
I’m a piece of shit for thinking that anything I make is worthy in the first place
1 tag
On people bore me to tears
I keep remembering why I stopped socialising at length in the first place. I am constantly reminded that people are ever concerned with trivial things, and make it a sport out of judging how other people choose to eek out their existences as if it were their humane right to do so. Oh, person A is fornicating with person B, and person C has evidently been consuming more calories than they have been...
1 tag
On what I have written here
Due to the general nature of what I write here, it is mostly ‘pseudo-intellectualism’: ‘wisdom’ about life that truly has no reliable grounding for the claims being made, aside from my ever so unreliable life experience.
I don’t expect to be taken seriously. In fact, I sure hope any reader that happens across this blog takes all my posts with a pinch of salt.
I...
1 tag
On happiness
It is not something to be found, like a button that has rolled under a bed, but rather something that has accumulated over time as you live life.
1 tag
On the Japanese language
Japanese is truly a beautiful language.
Everything from the well thought out systems of hiragana and katakana, to the perfectly balanced kanji, to the clear, almost categorical manner in which Japanese grammar sorts and communicates information within each sentence. The sounds are restrained to variants of a (ah), i (ee), u (ooh), e (eh), and o (oh), with the rare occurrence of sounds like dzu...
You can get ‘romantic time in private room’ at the Korean Karaoke place on George.
1 tag
On my generation's unhealthy fixation with...
Generation Y is a generation raised on the belief that their opinions matter and that other people actually care to hear them. That their identity must and should be asserted, that they must define themselves as someone new and different.
Digital curatorship on Tumblr, downloading Flac versions of obscure artists that they already have on vinyl, cries of Identity disorders and Existential crises...
3 tags
On friendships and Existentialism
Friendships, relationships. They come and they go. They wax and they wane. If existentialism holds true and there is nothing after death, then even the longest lasting relationship will end when one outlives the other.
Such is the nature of the human condition. We want to know that our most valuable thing, our friendships, ourselves, are sturdy enough to last for eternity. This is the reason why...
1 tag
On writing things
I am reviving this blog again to redirect annoyingly personal posts from Boy Cosmonaut to a nice, warm, and cozy home here.
Welcome to the irritating sound of Melissa’s voice. I don’t give a shit if you follow or not. Even if this blog has zero followers, I will still continue talking and talking and talking and existing within the chaotic echoes of my own voice. I love the sound of...