The only person I ever loved is no longer the same person. We have grown apart so fast, conversation with him is bland and I find myself having to feign interest where I didn’t have to before. We loved each other deeply, unconditionally. Regardless of whatever I did to him, whatever I said, he was always there in the morning, always there in the afternoon, always there at night. We were foolish romantics together and because of it we ended up leaving deep scars in one another.
Whenever I talk to him now, it just doesn’t feel right, it’s not the same way it used to be. And yet, I am looking for him again: I am looking for that feeling he gave me in other people. I can’t find it. I can’t seem to open myself up to people like I did for him. I am like toughened leather, I can’t seem to love like I loved him anymore.
Love, you are my mahl-stick: nobody has measured up to you yet, and I don’t think anyone will, for a while anyway. You gave me the happiest part of my youth and I am grateful for it. As always, I wish only the best for you.
Look at this. An eighteen year old talking as if she knows what love is.
At the airport in Delhi
Is the first person I ever loved.
As always, and for forever:
Only the best
I wish you.
